I'm two days away from my 39th birthday. That means I'm 367 days away from my 40's.
In every decade of my life, I've been thin and fit at some point - except my 30's. While I'm not at my max from a weight perspective, I'm not far off. I could stand to lose weight - a lot of it.
I feel that if I end up going into my 40's like this, then it's like I've accepted that this is the way that it's going to be; like I'm signalling that this is as good as it's going to get.
But I don't want that. I want to live. I want to not have fat surrounding my vital organs. I want to look in the mirror on a Saturday morning and feel proud. I want better, I want to fix it.
I've wanted to in the past though - it's not enough. It's never been enough. But the threat of my impending 40's is really pushing the matter for me. I won't give up.
367 days to go. I can stay like this or I can change.